The Zany Interviews of the incredible Interviewer
by Kawaii-Jay
Summary: I'm the Interviewer. I interview people in the Gilmore Girls cast. Though then again I'm not well and most of my questions don't make sence at all. Though it makes me wonder why I have bruises. Read and Review!
1. Rory Gilmore

Hello. This is my fan fiction. It's my new series on Gilmore Girls where there is me the interviewer. The Interviewer isn't really that nice and is a little bit creepy. Plus she has problems. I'm not really like that but I just wanted to do something funny for once instead of the usual meaningful stories. I interview the people in the television series. Chapter on is Rory. I hope that you enjoy because there will be more! Who know maybe even a producer!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Interviewer: Hello we are here today to interview Rory Gilmore, one of Chilton's most prominent students.  
  
Rory: (looks at the camera) Hi, I'm Rory.  
  
Interviewer: Well Rory we, the Interview Channel, are wondering what's behind Chilton from the view of one of its students.  
  
Rory: (looks back at me) Okay, like what?  
  
Interviewer: We want to know what it's like in Chilton. Is fun and does the education live up to what they say?  
  
Rory: Yes, Chilton is really great. I learn more stuff there than I ever did in my old school back in Starshollow. Though I don't know about fun. Not to be rude but some of the students there aren't all that nice.  
  
Interviewer: Really tell us more.  
  
Rory: Well I don't think that I should. Even though I don't talk to most of them, I don't want to say anything to make them hate me.  
  
Interviewer: Do you mean that you're anti-social?  
  
Rory: No, I'm not. It's just that I live in Starshollow so I don't really hang out with the students here.  
  
Interviewer: Do you hate them or something, because if I were you, I'd make friends with my classmates.  
  
Rory: What! I told you, I don't hang out with them because I live so far away.  
  
Interviewer: Oh really. I think that you're really a snob. Just like the rest of them.  
  
Rory: WHAT! I'm not a snob.  
  
Interviewer: Oh really. Well I heard that at your party, planned by you grandmother, you embarrassed her by fleeing from the party. And that was after you yelled at your grandmother. And to all that trouble she went through to make sure the party was perfect. And, you're saying that your not a snob. How rude!  
  
Rory: Well for your information, My grandmother didn't tell me that all the students from Chilton were invited to my party. I freaked! Then after that this really annoying person in my school arrived and started hassling me—  
  
Interviewer: Oh you mean Tristen, Tristen Dogray.  
  
Rory: Hey, how did you know? You weren't at my party. Were you?  
  
Interviewer: Tristen. Now that's a hottie. Smart, rich, and extremely handsome. My prince charming! (Turns to camera) Tristen, if your listening to this, call me. I'm available. (turns back to Rory) Rory, you were saying.  
  
Rory: I said, were you at me party?  
  
Interviewer: Was I? I don't know. Maybe I was. You never know.  
  
Rory: You were spying on me? (Rory's face is scrunched up)  
  
Interviewer: Me spy? Never. I would never spy on anyone. I just have connections.  
  
Rory: What kind of connections? Tell—  
  
Interviewer: Let's move on, shall we?  
  
Rory: No we won't.  
  
Interviewer: Rory, are you close with your family?  
  
Rory; Yeah, I am. I'm really close to my mom.  
  
Interviewer: How about your dad? Are you close to your dad?  
  
Rory: Yeah a little. I don't get to see him much because he lives in another state.  
  
Interviewer: So you mean that they are divorced?  
  
Rory: No they were never married.  
  
Interviewer: Oh. Your parents aren't married. That's interesting. So how old is your mother. I have some friends in their forties that I would like to fix up.  
  
Rory: Oh, she's in her early thirties actually.  
  
Interviewer: Oh really. So that makes her 16 when she had you.  
  
Rory: So what's that got to do with anything.  
  
Interviewer: Something, but I won't tell you. Ok?  
  
Rory: OK. You're weird.  
  
Interviewer: (I get testy and then another cough comes) Well moving on. Do you have a best friend?  
  
Rory: Yeah, her name is Lane.  
  
Interviewer: what's she like?  
  
Rory: She's Korean and she's been my best friend since like forever. She lives in Starshollow and is one of the cheerleaders in the high school there.  
  
Interviewer: Do you like cheerleaders?  
  
Rory: No but Lane is my best friend so I have to live with that. After all it is her life.  
  
Interviewer: Oh really.  
  
Rory: Yeah.  
  
Interviewer: Well do you have a boyfriend?  
  
Rory: Yeah, I do.  
  
Interviewer: Is he cute?  
  
Rory: Yeah he really is. And he's really nice and I love him.  
  
Interviewer: Oh really?  
  
Rory: Yeah, I do. I really love him.  
  
Interviewer: Like I can believe you.  
  
Rory: You can ask anyone I know personally. I love him. I love him a lot.  
  
Interviewer: Would you die for him?  
  
Rory: Yeah, I would. I would die for him.  
  
Interviewer: Yeah, sure………..  
  
Rory: Yeah I said that I would. So I would okay! (Rory is beginning to get tired of me)  
  
Interviewer: okay then, what about Jess.  
  
Rory: What about Jess.  
  
Interviewer: Do you like him.  
  
Rory: yeah I like him. He's my mom's friend's nephew, and he's nice. What about him?  
  
Interviewer: I mean, do you like-him-like-him?  
  
Rory: No! I don't. Well I like him but not that way.  
  
Interviewer: Yeah sure.  
  
Rory: Yes, I don't like Jess! I love my boyfriend Dean!  
  
Interviewer: okay, how do you like your mom dating one of your teachers?  
  
Rory: What! I thought that this was about Chilton not my life.  
  
Interviewer: well actually, yeah it is. But we want to know more about you.  
  
Rory: What? Why me?  
  
Interviewer: Why you? Because we thought that..… (coughs come from the back of the camera) look at the time. We've got to go. See you next time on the Interview Channel!  
  
Rory: Wait you didn't tell me why! Tell me. (More coughing comes from the back) Why does that guy keep coughing?  
  
Interviewer: The show is over. You can go home now.  
  
Rory: Not until you tell me why you picked me. (Rory lunges at the Interviewer and has her hands on her collar) Tell me!  
  
Interviewer: Until next time, buh-bye!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So how did you guys like the story? I thought that this was really good compare to my other stories. This is my first humor story so be kind! Please. This also is also my first fan fiction for Gilmore Girls. I'm really fragile and I have a small ego. I can't handle the sadness. No just kidding.  
  
Now all there is left for you all to do is review for my story. What are you doing reading this. You should be reviewing already! Go on, review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Tristan Dugray

This story is dedicated to Tinkerbell because she (or he) was my first reviewer.  
  
P.S.: If I spelled Dugray wrong, don't sue me because I don't care. And I own nothing so don't sue period!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Interviewer: Hello folks, we are back today to interview the wonderfully hot Tristan Dugray.  
  
Tristan: Hi.  
  
Interviewer: Yes we are here in North Carolina in a military school. It took some connections but we managed to get and interview—  
  
Tristan: Say how did you do that?  
  
Interviewer: Hey don't interrupt me when I'm talking! (Tristan quivers in his seat)  
  
Tristan: Okay……..  
  
Interviewer: Okay moving on. Tristan we are here today to get behind the life of living in a military school.  
  
Tristan: Ok, what do you want to know first. How the teachers suck or how the food sucks?  
  
Interviewer: Wow! You're more fun than that other girl I was talking to!  
  
Tristan: What other girl?  
  
Interviewer: Um…….. I think that her first name was Rory. Rory Gilmore. Yeah that is her name. Rory Gilmore.  
  
Tristan: Did she say anything about me.  
  
Interviewer: No nothing really. Nothing but that you were nothing but *beep*.  
  
Tristan: What—  
  
Interviewer: Hey who is beeping me out? Tell me!  
  
Tristan: I think it's that guy behind the camera, the guy with a toupee.  
  
Interviewer: Hey Frank! What are you doing?  
  
Frank: Don't look at me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Tristan: I think he's beeping you out.  
  
Interviewer: Duh dumbo! I can hear that! I'm not stupid!  
  
Tristan: You're mean! *Beep*, You don't have to be so *beep*ing mean!  
  
Interviewer: Tristan! I'm the one who is supposed to be mean, not you! So stop swearing! (Coughing comes from somewhere) Okay, moving on. Tristan, you were saying.  
  
Tristan: I was saying…. What was I saying?  
  
Interviewer: I think the last thing you said was "What".  
  
Tristan: Oh really. (Starts to ponder)  
  
Interviewer: Now don't hurt your pretty little head.  
  
Tristan: I have a pretty head? Cool! Wait…….. That was mean!  
  
Interviewer: And it took you so long to realize. (I start to laugh but then is interrupted my coughing)  
  
Tristan: I getting out of here! You're really mean and I don't like you!  
  
Interviewer: Wait we have an interview to do. You can't just skip out on me! I'm the only one who is supposed to do that to people. You're not allowed to do that! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Tristan: (heads for the door then is pushed back down to his seat by me) OW!  
  
Interviewer: I'm so strong!  
  
Tristan: Hey that hurts!  
  
Interviewer: Hey is for horses not the incredible Interviewer!  
  
Tristan: So, it still hurt.  
  
Interviewer: Ok fine, sorry…….. Okay, I'm forgiven.  
  
Tristan: What I didn't forgive you. You forgave yourself! You can't do that!  
  
Interviewer: So what id I forgave myself.  
  
Tristan: You can't do that. You (Can't talk because I stun him with a stun gun)  
  
Interviewer: What were you saying.  
  
Tristan: (Start quivering again) Forget it. I forgive you.  
  
Interviewer: Fine, I forgot. I forgive you too. What were you saying before?  
  
Tristan: (Has a puzzled look then remembers) Did Rory really say that about me.  
  
Interviewer: What *beep*? (Tristan nods) No. I just wanted to say it.  
  
Tristan: Ok. What did she say about me?  
  
Interviewer: Nothing much. Mostly she was talking about Dean. She loves him. She even said so. She said that she would die for him even.  
  
Tristan: (A nerve is getting bigger on his forehead) What that dork?  
  
Interviewer: You're telling me. You're much cuter!  
  
Tristan: Yeah I am. Thanks.  
  
Interviewer: You're welcome.  
  
Tristan: I am much cuter.  
  
Interviewer: That you are. (We look into each other's eye and then a cough comes)  
  
Tristan: Why are you looking into my eyes?  
  
Interviewer: Because I love you!  
  
Tristan: Wow! The only reason I'm looking because I can see my reflection in you sunglasses.  
  
Interviewer: Why you little! (I go up to Tristan and try to choke him)  
  
Frank: Stop it the incredible Interviewer! You can't choke the guest! (I stop hurting Tristan)  
  
Interviewer: Okay fine, since you said that I'm "the incredible Interviewer". I am you know. Besides the loser wasn't worth it. On with the interview! Tristan, do you like Rory?  
  
Tristan: Yeah I like Rory!  
  
Interviewer: Do you love her?  
  
Tristan: No, I just want to make out with her.  
  
Interviewer: How about me?  
  
Tristan: Maybe later……..  
  
Interviewer: Fine! You don't get the chance. (I start grinding my teeth as Frank starts coughing again) Stop it Frank, UNLESS YOU'VE GOT A COLD, YOU CAN STOP ALL THAT COUGHING!  
  
Frank: Okay, just don't kill anyone and continue the interview.  
  
Interviewer: Fine! Tristan, does your dad beat you?  
  
Tristan: What! NO! Of course not!  
  
Interviewer: Fine next question: did you know that you look like this one model/actor Chad Michael Murrey?  
  
Tristan: Yeah, he copied my good looks by getting plastic surgery! The *beep*!  
  
Interviewer: No foul language!  
  
Tristan: Sorry! But yeah, I know Chad Michael Murrey! He's a pure loser for copying me!  
  
Interviewer: I love him! He's the hottest guy in the whole world. Unless you count Shane West, who is the really hottest guy in the whole universe.  
  
Tristan: Hey! I thought that you loved me and thought that I was the hottest guy in the universe.  
  
Interviewer: No I don't! I just think that your cute not hot! I love Chad and Shane! Chad, how I love Chad. Shane, how I am in love with Shane!  
  
Tristan: Hey this interview is still going on. Stop daydreaming about a couple losers.  
  
Interviewer: No the image of Shane and Chad are going away! NO!!!!!!!!!! They're gone! (Goes mentally insane for a couple seconds) Ok, fine, I'll continue. Do you like Paris?  
  
Tristan: *beep* NO!  
  
Interviewer: Are you sure? Because, she loves you or at least did.  
  
Tristan: Yeah, I'm sure. Wait, what did you mean did?  
  
Interviewer: Moving on, do you think that Madeline is hot?  
  
Tristan: Duh, at least she has breasts.  
  
Interviewer: So you like breasts?  
  
Tristan: Yeah, me like, me like! Me Like A Lot!  
  
Interviewer: So mainly all you want is a C-cup or above?  
  
Tristan: Yeah!  
  
Interviewer: I have a D-cup.  
  
Tristan: I like D-cups more than C-cups. Though I like Double-Ds more! Do you really have a D-cup?  
  
Interviewer: No, I just wanted to know what you'd say.  
  
Tristan: Bummer! I really wanted to see a D-cup.  
  
Interviewer: Go look in a Playboy magazine, Creep. (Backs chair away from the creep and more coughing comes from the camera) Um…….. Do you like Rory's mom?  
  
Tristan: I don't know; I never met her.  
  
Interviewer: Fine. Don't answer the question.  
  
Tristan: What—  
  
Interviewer: Do you do drugs?  
  
Tristan: No. I've never done drugs.  
  
Interviewer: Liar! Well moving on, do you like cheerleaders?  
  
Tristan: Who wouldn't?  
  
Interviewer: Duh! Girls! Anyway, do you want to go out with a cheerleader?  
  
Tristan: Sure. Who?  
  
Interviewer: Lane.  
  
Tristan: Who's Lane?  
  
Interviewer: She's Rory's best friend.  
  
Tristan: Sure anyway way to see Rory get jealous.  
  
Interviewer: Rory won't be there. Frank bring in Lane now! (Lane enters in a cheerleader's uniform and is really mad)  
  
Lane: Where am I?  
  
Interviewer: North Carolina.  
  
Lane: What!  
  
Tristan: Yay, a cheerleader!  
  
Lane: Hey, you look familiar.  
  
Tristan: I'm Tristan, Tristan Dugray.  
  
Lane: Oh, it's you.  
  
Tristan: Yeah, its me. You can bow down at my feet now. (Lane doesn't move) Want to go out?  
  
Lane: NO! You're a loser. I don't go out with losers. (Looks at me) Hey you're the woman who told me you'd take me to Henry!  
  
Tristan: Forget about Henry! I'm here now!  
  
Interviewer: Don't listen to him besides he's not here. He's in Hartford and you're her in North Carolina!  
  
Lane: What, I want to be back home! And why am I wearing my cheerleading uniform? Last time I remember I was where my pajamas. Did you drug me or something?  
  
Interviewer: Um no…….. Um…….. Maybe…….. No. I don't know what you're talking about? I would never. I'm a good person!  
  
Lane: I heard about you. Rory told me all about you! She said that you were really creepy. You're like a one-person version of the entire cast of Saterday Night Live.  
  
Interviewer: Get her out of here! She's annoying me I need to talk to Tristan. (Lane is taken away) Tristan, do you think that Lane is hot?  
  
Tristan: No, she called me a loser. I'm hurt. But I liked her chest.  
  
Interviewer: Creep. (Scoots chair back more) Tristan do you think that Lane and Henry should be together?  
  
Tristan: Sure they're both Korean.  
  
Interviewer: Yeah they are.  
  
Tristan: Can I go now. Obviously this isn't about my life in a military school.  
  
Interviewer: What makes you think that?  
  
Tristan: "Do you do drugs?" What's that got to do with anything?  
  
Interviewer: We're just getting to know you first.  
  
Tristan: Well you've got a funny way of doing that.  
  
Interviewer: Well moving on—  
  
Tristan: Why do you always say that?  
  
Interviewer: Don't interrupt me! OR I'll stop the interview!  
  
Tristan: Fine, I wanted to go anyway! (Head to the door and goes out)  
  
Interviewer: Ingrate. Frank that's the last time I interview someone in North Carolina!  
  
Frank: You have to say good-bye first.  
  
Interviewer: Fine, I'll say good bye. (Clears throat) Ok folks, that's all we have today, so see you next time on the Interview Channel. Buh-Bye! (Looks at Frank) Can I go now?  
  
Frank: Whatever! (Says Ingrate under breath)  
  
Interviewer: I heard that!  
  
Frank: Fine you heard that!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So how did you guys like it. I hope that you liked it and thought that it was funny. Any more requests and I'll do them. If people like this I'll go into other topics. 


	3. Michel Geraed

Interviewer: Hello from the Interview Channel, we are at the Independence Inn. Today we will try to get information from one of its employees. You know, the life of someone in Independence Inn (Looks around the lounge and sees a person at the desk) Hey, you!  
  
Michel: Hello I don't know you ,and I don't want to.  
  
Interviewer: Well, we know you so we'll say our names. I'm the incredible Interviewer and the camera guy is Frank and we're from the Interview Channel. And you want to talk to us.  
  
Michel: No, I am someone who doesn't want to talk to you.  
  
Interviewer: I know that you want to talk to us. You really want to talk to us.  
  
Michel: I know that I don't.  
  
Interviewer: Yes you do! Or we'll tell all the people in TV land your deepest and darkest secrets.  
  
Michel: You don't know my secrets. I have no secrets! I am an open book.  
  
Interviewer: Yes you do! And, I know them all! (Laughs loudly)  
  
Michel: NO, I don't! (I stop laughing)  
  
Interviewer: Yes, you do! You have lots of secrets.  
  
Michel: NO, I don't!  
  
Interviewer: Yes, you do!  
  
Frank: Incredible Interviewer, don't say the same things over and over again. Watchers don't want to hear that for the next hour.  
  
Interviewer: Don't annoy me Frank or I'll tell everyone your secrets. (Frank looks scared and shuts up) Yes folks, I even know my camera guy's secrets.  
  
Michel: Can you go now? I don't like you and I have work.  
  
Interviewer: Two things: one, what work? And two, so what? And FYI I don't like you either. You're nothing but a loser.  
  
Michel: I'm not a loser! And if I was then why are you bothering me.  
  
Interviewer: Yes, you are a loser. You are the biggest loser in the world and the only reason I'm bothering you is because I can! (Starts laughing uncontrollably)  
  
Michel: Please gets away from my desk and stay away from me. I don't want you in my presence.  
  
Interviewer: Not until we get an interview. I want an interview.  
  
Michel: Fine, but then you will have to leave me alone. I don't want you here again.  
  
Interviewer: What, I didn't understand you with that accent of yours. (Michel's face goes psycho and I giggle)  
  
Michel: Okay I am leaving and you are leaving too.  
  
Interviewer: Hey you told me that we were getting an interview so unless you have anything else to do, you'll have to do the interview.  
  
Michel: Fine, I will do the interview.  
  
Interviewer: Good, lets get started with the interview. I want to sit down. Let's go into the sitting area where that harpist is playing.  
  
Michel: I would rather not go there. That woman is a psycho. She wants to kill me with her harp.  
  
Interviewer: Whatever, but I don't care. She can kill you for all I care as long as we get an interview. Anyways, I want to sit. (We sit down as Michel makes a stupid mad face) Stop making that face, or I'll make you take it off!  
  
Michel: I would like to see you try that. (Rory enters the sitting area)  
  
Rory: I wouldn't do that Michel! She's a crazed freak! She stunned Tristan Dugray on live TV with a stun gun!  
  
Michel: (Face is back to normal) Fine, I will stop. Start asking questions or I will start making that face again. And when you hurt me, I will sue you afterwards.  
  
Interviewer: (After Rory leaves I start) Michel, who do you like most about the Gilmore family?  
  
Michel: Emily Gilmore. She is obviously the most refined of all the Gilmore females. Lorelai is not her mother whereas Rory is defiantly her mother's daughter.  
  
Interviewer: Okay, you could have just said Emily Gilmore, you know. You talk too much!  
  
Michel: WHAT, I don't talk too much! What are you talking about? I don't talk too much. (Looks at Frank) Do I talk too much? I don't think I talk too much! I don't talk too much!  
  
Interviewer: See, you are talking right now!  
  
Michel: SO!  
  
Interviewer: STOP! (I give him my meanest face and he stops talking) Anyway, why do you like Emily Gilmore?  
  
Michel: Because she is the most refined out of all of them.  
  
Interviewer: OKAY, you obviously don't know them much.  
  
Michel: I know enough to know that Lorelai is not a lady. And obviously her daughter must not be one too.  
  
Interviewer: Are you sure you like her because of that because I think that you like-her-like-her.  
  
Michel: (face scrunches up) WHAT!?!?! I am not interested in her. I just think she is someone I can speak to without being irritated. Plus we have a big age different.  
  
Interviewer: Having chemistry it to many, unlike you, is something that makes people interested. And who cares about age difference! Besides you went to that bachelorette party.  
  
Michel: So what has that got to do with anything?  
  
Interviewer: Emily was there.  
  
Michel: So? There was also Rory, Lorelai and that horrible woman who they call a cook. I swear they just hired her because they don't want me to have my normal eggs.  
  
Interviewer: I don't think so. Sookie is great! I love her cooking. The only reason you don't like her is because you don't like normal people food. Health junkie!  
  
Michel: SO what if I am a health junkie. I am proud to be a health nut!  
  
Interviewer: Well you are a weird. And you like Emily Gilmore and you are a dumbo for thinking that Sookie is a horrible cook. You are the horrible person!  
  
Michel: Well you are wrong! You are really wrong! Wrong. Wrong, wrong!!!!!!!  
  
Interviewer: I am never wrong. I am always right. My fortune cookie said so! LOOK! (Pulls out a piece of paper with small writing on it) See it says, "You are always right." See! (Michel refuses to look) Fine, it's your loss. You will never get to see the truth!  
  
Michel: Well boo-hoo.  
  
Interviewer: Go one cry, I know that you are really hurts inside. (Michel rolls his eyes) Don't roll your eyes at me! I'm the one who is supposed to do that to people. After all I am the incredible Interviewer! (Michel gets out of his seat) And that goes for walking out on people. (Looks at Frank) Frank, I want to get out of here. Michel was mean. He wasn't cooperative.  
  
Frank: No, you have to keep talking or we'll get cancelled. I don't want to be out of a job.  
  
Interviewer: Fine I'll get that interview. (Heads to the front desk and drags Michel to the lounge for the interview) Michel, you're not going anywhere until you answer my questions. OK!? And it doesn't matter if you say yes, because I will still make you say yes.  
  
Michel: (Looks scared for a second and then gives in) Fine, I will do the interview. I will be on TV anyway so I will.  
  
Interviewer: First question: how do you like it here in Stars Hollow?  
  
Michel: I think that I should have stayed in France.  
  
Interviewer: Well I think that you should have too! (Coughs come from Frank)  
  
Michel: You are annoying me. Next question.  
  
Interviewer: (Smoke is coming from my eats) Moving on………… (grinding teeth) Do you think that Stars Hollow is a stupid place?  
  
Michel: Yes I think that the place is stupid. I really wish that I were back home in France.  
  
Interviewer: Do you like the people in this town?  
  
Michel: No, I liked the people in France.  
  
Interviewer: Do you like the people here in Stars Hollow?  
  
Michel: NO! They are all stupid. French people are much smarter. We are all smart compared to Americans.  
  
Interviewer: What? Americans are smarter! We won the war! The Allies are the ones who had won the war.  
  
Michel: Did I say that I was a Nazi? I'm not German. I'm French and the French are smarter!  
  
Interviewer: Wrong and stop it with the France thing. You aren't really from France. You're really from some place in New Jersey, aren't you, admit it!  
  
Michel: I am not!  
  
Interviewer: Yes, you are. ADMIT IT, YOU PSYCHO!  
  
Michel: Admit what? I've got nothing to admit! (More coughing) Next question.  
  
Interviewer: FINE! The next question: Are you gay?  
  
Michel: No, I am not gay. I like women.  
  
Interviewer: No you don't. You like guys. Admit! Admit! You are really gay. Gay as anyone can be gay! (Michel looks really creeped out and is about to pop)  
  
Michel: Okay, I admit it. (Only he said it with no accent) I am gay and I am really from Colorado. And this suit, it isn't from Armani, it's PC- Penny! (He starts crying into my arms as I pat his head to comfort him)  
  
Interviewer: WOW, I didn't really think that you were gay. I just thought that you were really creepy and that your accent wasn't really. I really actually thought that you were straight. I guess this comes to show that you will never really know. You were actually gay! (I start giggling under my breath and Michel gets out off my lap)  
  
Michel: You mean that you were just trying to annoy me? (I nod) What! I just admitted my sexuality on live TV for no reason! (Tries to choke me but I get out of my seat before he can get me)  
  
Interviewer: Get away from me you creep! You're a creep! (Mouths to Frank if I can go)  
  
Michel: No I need to tell everyone that I am not gay.  
  
Interviewer: But you are gay and I can't let you take it back! Until I find a better person to interview, Buh-bye!  
  
Michel: NO! I need to take it back! I need to let men know that I don't really want them.  
  
Interviewer: Yes you want to come out and stay out. And I'm getting out of here. Frank, GET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT TO GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA! (Michel goes in front of the camera trying to tell everyone that he is not really gay) Frank, get him off the camera and run!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well anyway, I need to cut to the chase. I just realized after a phone call with one of my friends that my social studies speech on Jane Addams wasn't due until two weeks from now. I never knew that. So pretty much that made me think that I shouldn't be writing this chapter. Thus resulting in a not so funny yet still insane chapter. Last but not least, hope you liked it and are in the process of reviewing. 


	4. Frank (the EX-camera guy)

Hello people! I'm so sorry that I took so long to write this but I could write anything in the last week. I had to study, do my Famous Face and a compare and contrast story on girls in the late nineteenth century with the girls of the current century. See! That's a lot of stuff to do. But the good news is that I found out that I can type over 50 words per minute so that means I can do all my homework and still have the time to write this. Also the in the last couple of weeks, I haven't had the inspiration to write anything. It's been ages since I written anything for my other stories, but then again that's for my stories with actual plots. This doesn't. Gosh, I love comedies! Well anyway, the show is about to begin! Have fun reading my story! And review gosh dang it! *SEE NO SWEARING* I don't have problems, just my characters. I'm actually very nice and do hours of volunteer hours out of my own free will! I'm not psycho!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The camera is on The Incredible Interviewer, who is appearing to you with a really big smile and a mountain load of money behind her.  
  
Interviewer: Hello ladies and gentlemen in TV land. I'm back! I'm so sorry that I took so long. I was sent to an anger management and I wasn't allowed to get out until I got my attitude corrected! I have an attitude? I don't have an attitude. Do I Frank?  
  
Frank: I think that you slightly do….  
  
Interviewer: What are you talking about? I don't house an attitude problem! I don't have any attitude problems. You do maybe, but me, no.  
  
Frank: Yes you do! You have loads of problems! You also have loads of anger problems.  
  
Interviewer: (Lunges at Frank taking the camera and making him on live TV) How do you like it when people you have to work with are annoying? Well tell us Frank! Tell me!  
  
Frank: (Tries to get away from me by hiding behind the desk I was sitting in) Get away! This isn't my show! And this in on live TV! You're messing up your show!  
  
Interviewer: (thinks about it and then realizes he is right) You are right Frank. You are very much right. You don't belong on TV. I do. (Frank looks puzzled by me agreeing with him but then realizes what I meant) Well anyway, Frank! Get away from my money and my desk. I'm the only one that is supposed to be in the spotlight! (Frank gets out of the chair and grumbles something under his breath) What was that Frank?  
  
Frank: Oh nothing. (Grumbles some more)  
  
Interviewer: What did you say? I can't hear you? If you have something to say why don't you say something?  
  
Frank: I think that you shouldn't have this show because you are a crazy bat! I think that you should be admitted to a mental institute or something!  
  
Interviewer: Well! If that what you feel like Frank, you can leave! You can just leave! You check will be in the mail! (Frank looks shocked) Shocked? I thought that you would be!  
  
Frank: But YOU can't fire me! You CAN'T FIRE me! You can't fire ME! I'm the only one here who can work that camera.  
  
Interviewer: Not anymore. In the anticipation that you would do this to me, I had convinced the Interview Channel to train a second cameraperson to know how to work that camera. Ha! You are totally dispersible. (As I am talking, another cameraperson comes out of a door behind me with a big smile on her face) See Frank that is what a cameraperson from here should look like. Smiling! Martha is my new cameraperson! Isn't she wonderful? Martha? (Martha looks at me) Can you position the camera so that the people in TV land can see you? (Martha says yes and the camera is on her) See Frank, she does all I tell her to do. Good Martha. (Martha smiles)  
  
Frank: She's a freakin' robot!  
  
Interviewer: SO? Robots are the future! Do you have a problem with that?  
  
Frank: Yes, I have family and a dog Rufis to take care of. I can't get fired.  
  
Interviewer: Better of thought of it then. (Thinks about it for a moment) Say Frank, do you want to be interviewed?  
  
Frank: Me?  
  
Interviewer: Yeah, why not? We were going to go to Star Hollow to stalk Lane Kim, but I think that you would be a better person to interview. I really think that you would be a great person to interview. So Frank, what do you say? Do you want to do it?  
  
Frank: Let me think about it.  
  
::::::::Five minutes later::::::::  
  
Interviewer: Frank! What do you say? I've been waiting for about six minutes now? I want an answer! I need an answer!  
  
Frank: Fine, I'll do it! As long as I get payed.  
  
Interviewer: Fine! (Takes about $500 hundred dollars from the mountain load of money behind me and give him the money he wants) Here you have your money. Now can we start?  
  
Frank: Sure. I'm sit here. (He chooses a chair far from my reach but still near enough to talk to me and be in the shot) What is your first question?  
  
Interviewer: Well, I think that we should tell what we want to come out of this story. I think we the main focal point is what it's like to be a cameraman. Wait an ex-cameraman.  
  
Frank: Fine with me.  
  
Interviewer: Okay. Do you like the open sea?  
  
Frank: Yeah, I guess, I haven't been on a ship in year though.  
  
Interviewer: That's nice. Next question: Do you like the past people I have interviewed?  
  
Frank: No not really. I think that all of them are really weird. None of them make any sense at all and all of them had problems or you gave them some after the interview.  
  
Interviewer: What do you mean be that?  
  
Frank: I'm just saying that you bring out the bad in people.  
  
Interviewer: Do not!  
  
Frank: Yes you do!  
  
Interviewer: (Wants to choke him but stops myself) What do you think about my show?  
  
Frank: I think that your show is okay.  
  
Interviewer: Okay? What do you mean by ok? Okay good? Or okay bad?  
  
Frank: I just mean that I like other shows better than this one. This isn't my favorite show.  
  
Interviewer: Frank this is my show. You are supposed to like it! I like other shows that I go on. I also go on shows that aren't that good but I still go on them and say that I love the show. That is what you are supposed to do, you retard! (Realizes that my anger is skyrocketing and sits back down on her chair) Okay next question. I want to know whom I should interview next. So whom do you think I should interview next?  
  
Frank: Well I think that you should interview that guy who owns Dosey's Market. Taylor, I think that is his name. I think that he is a real swell guy. Always doing the right thing and never going anything ostentatious.  
  
Interviewer: Frank, this is an Interview show for crazy people. Don't use any long words that we won't know the definition of. Okay? (Smiles in a really perky way)  
  
Frank: Don't do that!  
  
Interviewer: What? (Smiles some more)  
  
Frank: That! Stop that fake, creepy-assed smile!  
  
Interviewer: Frank, no swearing! I don't want little children to watching this and repeating what you are saying!  
  
Frank: I don't get you! You don't make any sense! First you physically abuse people, then you bribe me, and then you tell every one that I shouldn't be swearing! That doesn't make any sence at all!  
  
Interviewer: Yes it does!  
  
Frank: NO it doesn't! It don't under stand you!  
  
Interviewer: Whatever! I don't want you continue this! The next question is if you like to eat butter.  
  
Frank: I don't know. Why are you asking about butter? That's not even food. I think that you have gone crazy. I really think that you are crazy.  
  
Interviewer: MY FREAKIN' GOD YOU ARE REALLY MEAN!  
  
This interview is over. I don't want to talk to you anymore. I'm going home. When you are over your power trip, I will try to reconsider your canceled interview. I think that I should move. Yes I'm moving. London here I come!  
  
Martha: I think that you should give a good bye for right now.  
  
Interviewer: Martha. Martha. You are always so polite. See Frank that is what you are supposed to be like.  
  
Frank: Yeah, whatever!  
  
Interviewer: Whatever Frank. I have to say good bye now. Good by now. Until later when I get done suing Frank.  
  
Frank: What, you never said that you were going to sue me!  
  
Interviewer: Well I am!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So do you like it? 


End file.
